Divorce or separation can be a traumatizing experience…. no matter the situation. It is an end to a “family” the way it existed, leaving everyone in its wake to figure out how to move forward. Research shows us that the quality of the parents communication and co-parenting relationships profoundly impacts … Read More
Grief is a response to the loss of something. When we think of loss, we often think of death. While this is certainly a devastating loss, it also comes in other shapes and sizes. Divorce, retirement, moving, children growing up, and physical disability are other examples of losses that can … Read More
In the Internal Family Systems model, we learn to understand and connect to all parts of ourselves. When people focus on, and are able to separate from their extreme emotions and thoughts, they begin to connect to qualities within themselves that make for good leadership, internally and externally. What would … Read More
In my latest blog Atomic Habits: The Power of Creating New Habits, I dissected James Clear’s book “Atomic Habits” and discussed the power of creating new patterns of emotions, thoughts and behaviors in trauma work. Changing our patterns can be a lot more challenging then it sounds. I’d like to … Read More
As a trauma therapist I quickly came to understand that if we could just “stop” thinking or behaving or feeling a certain way… most of the time… we would! Healing is more than just “mind over matter”… trauma is held somatically, affecting us at a cellular level. Healing is “unlearning” … Read More
Complex trauma, sometimes referred to as C-PTSD, is when a person experiences prolonged exposure to multiple traumatic events. These experiences are often interpersonal (within an attachment relationship or connection) and occur over an extended period of time. This is why it’s often called “developmental” trauma. Complex trauma can also be … Read More
True nervous system healing requires rest not hustle. You cannot hustle or grind your way toward regulation. It’s likely that is the exact energy that created your dysregulation in the first place. Healing demands that we prioritize rest, slowing down and attuning to our needs. We live in a world … Read More
Did you know that suppressing anger comes at a cost for your nervous system? Anger is a messenger of self-protection. If you were a child who had an emotionally unavailable parent or an abusive parent, there was likely a chronic experience of helplessness and powerlessness. As we get older, anger … Read More
A lot of people are talking about narcissism these days. How does Narcissism develop? Theorists propose two developmental pathways in the development of narcissism. Narcissism can develop in a child who has experienced both parental devaluation AND parental overvaluation. Parent devaluation happens when a child experiences parental rejection and/or exclusion, … Read More
There is a strong connection between trauma and disordered eating and it lies in our nervous system. In our Autonomic Nervous System, the parasympathetic Freeze/shutdown response is like a hibernation – the body stores what resources it can to help us survive. This response also releases cortisol, which is an … Read More
The family system we were born into laid the blueprint for what we needed to do to receive love, safety and connection. Parts of us were welcomed and parts of us were not: If we wanted to receive love, it meant sacrificing ourselves If we wanted to be accepted, we … Read More
Research shows us that there are significant long-term effects of unresolved childhood trauma on our mental and physical health. There is not enough education and discussion about the physiological effects such as chronic pain, autoimmune diseases, cardiovascular issues, chronic sleep issues, inability to maintain intimate relationships and friendships, and the … Read More